This week has been really rough.
I have been operating beyond my capacity at work for an exceptionally long time. This is due in part to the ridiculous demands placed on me by the current project I am working on. The result is that I am starting most days without any spoons and my ability to behave “normally” is severely impaired. I end a regular working day exhausted; at the moment I am struggling to avoid melting or just shutting down completely during the course of the working day. This hasn’t gone unnoticed by my colleagues and lets just say that it has made things difficult.
My employer has suggested I could make things easier on myself by disclosing the fact that I am autistic to everyone in the company; currently, only a few trusted people and the people I interact with directly know about my diagnosis.
Whilst I am making an effort to protect myself more, my employer is ultimately unlikely, unable or unwilling to rectify the causes of the issues for the foreseeable future. My mask is slipping and people are making unfair judgements of my behaviour based on neurotypical standards.
I realise that I can’t put the genie back in the bottle once it is out. My fear is that once people know, it will be used against me. Look around in the media, people aren’t generally that accepting of neurodiversity.
I need your help guys! Do I disclose to my colleagues, or do I just try and ride it out?