A little while ago I blogged about how my Grandad had gotten himself stuck in his conservatory and had been locked in there for some hours. My Grandad is an octogenarian and is blind, my Sister is neither of these things. So it was with great amazement (and frustration) that I answered the phone yesterday evening to find out that she (who is now living at my Grandad’s) had managed to to lock herself in the same conservatory. She had locked and doubled locked and then deadlocked the front door, then she put the chain on, oh – and she left the keys in the door. She had locked and double locked and deadlocked the back door, the keys were in the kitchen. All the windows were shut and locked from the inside.
After considering the situation for a while, we (me, little Brother and Mum) drove up to my Grandad’s and went around to the back of the house. Again my Sister insisted the windows were all locked, but I asked her to just try and lift up the handle. Guess what, it wasn’t locked, she is just weak [and pathetic]. My Brother jumped in through the window and unlocked the back door (with a spare set of keys) liberating my Sister, but since nobody has a key to the inside back door we were still locked out. Using only my Leatherman and my Brother (a couple of squirts!) I carefully removed the window between the living room and the conservatory (which was obviously locked, double locked and deadlocked), but not in such a way that it can be put back (sorry Dad) and then jumped through to the living room. All I had to do now was run through the house to the inside back door and open it, I jogged across the living room, grasped the door handle and…the door was locked from the other side…and the key was still in it! After berating my Sister and Mum for their suggestion of following the Enid Blyton instruction manuals that were the Five Findouters/Secret Seven/Famous Five (slide a piece of paper under the door, poke the key out and pull it under), turned around and walked right into the stupidly low hanging (and tasteless) chandelier. The shit was on and I was mad! With the careful removal of the window now a distant memory, I obliterated the living room door (sorry Dad) and walked to freedom.