From Joseph to Walrus (A Rose By Any Other)

What’s in a name? A rose by any other and all that. Well my real name is Joseph, but nobody ever calls me that unless I’ve done something wrong and even then it’s only my Sister, my Mum or my friend Amy.

So what do people call me?

My family call me JoJo. This is the name I tend to sign on cards and stuff and this is what is stitched onto my custom made AF1s.

People at work tend to call me Jo, you’d be suprised how many people have a problem with calling me JoJo because I’m a grown up. It doesn’t bother me though. What does bother me is people who call me Joe, I don’t care how you cut it, Joe is not short for JoJo or Joseph. Jo-seph, think about it.

Jovis – My cousin Henry and his sister Milly before him were both unable to say Joseph and so they called me Jovis. It stuck.

Jofus – My friend Amy has decided that this is what you call people called Joseph. I have given her a million different nicknames so she can call me what she wants. Lil’ Feet actually inspired this post, so shout out to her.

Giuseppe, or Seppe for short. This one came from my friend Mark at school. Because I reminded him of a fat Italian chef.

Fat Boy/Chunky, also from school, self explanatory.

Walrus – I was given this name by Sarah Sadie Katrina Moore, a student from Utah who joined my school for year 10. She bought me a stuffed Walrus before she went home, I still have it. I think my friends Darren and Jim were Chipmunk and something else, I don’t quite remember. This was the first time I learned that I had a thing for accents and leads nicely on to…

Mr Lover Lover – Use your imagination. I was given this name as a result of a Sadie related rumour which it was easier to go with instead of arguing against. Didn’t do my street cred any harm. ;)

JR – This is old school, literally. My maths teacher used to call me this in year 7. He knew my middle name and also knew my younger brother somehow, he used our middle names to differentiate us (look, a maths joke).

JoHoMoFo – I got this name from Cosmic Badger. It was a result of my me explaining that my Mum had signed all of my Christmas presents “lots of love from MoFo” when she had mistakenly thought that MoFo was a pet name I had given her. At night, Cosmizzle and JoHoMoF roam the streets of Sussex and Kent fighting crime and freeing boobs. Okay, we don’t, but we totally should. Cosmizzle gave me possibly the best piece of advice ever. When I asked how I should approach a girl for her number, “Just don’t call her a twat” – I got her number.

You are free to call me any of the above, but the following names are reserved.

JoBro – My Sister Hev calls me this. No not that sort of Sister, even though we have the same surname (Cosmizzle, I still don’t think Stuart understands this). She is leader of the TWIT clan.

Bro – My bros SMX and Wayne call me this and I call them it.

My clan mates are my best friends in the whole world. They can call me bro. You *points at reader* can’t.

UPDATE: Today Amy christened me Panda. I think it’s going to stick. My fault for quoting Eats, Shoots & Leaves. Coming soon to a TV near you, “The adventures of Panda & Badger!”.

6 thoughts on “From Joseph to Walrus (A Rose By Any Other)

  1. @Nige: Haha, what? Young Skywalker was part of a long running joke between myself and Obi Wan (Chris), but I don’t remember Joberforce.

  2. You would have been Joberforce if you’d stayed a bit longer. Will is obviously Willberforce. Phil became Philberforce. Stuberforce. Joberforce. Perhaps it’s all in my head… 8-)

  3. Ha, if I’d stayed any longer I don’t think you’d have been talking to me at all!

    I mean this with the greatest of respect, who the fuck is Phil!?

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