A Lion’s Tale

OK, so I completely mark out for wrestling biographies and have read them all. That’s not completely true, I didn’t read Bill Goldberg’s book because he doesn’t interest me at all (the business is better off without him) and I didn’t read the Hardy Boyz book because they were so young when they wrote it, I didn’t think they could have life stories to tell, but apart from those exceptions, I have pretty much read them all.

I preordered a copy of Chris Jericho’s “A Lion’s Tale” months ago, it arrived a week ago, I finished it last night. Jericho’s book was a brilliant read, this is not true of all wrestler biographies, I read them to get a balanced view of things, but some of them suck. There were a lot of genuine laugh-out-loud moments in this book, and Y2J’s candidness was a stark contrast to some of the ego trips that have been other wrestlers books (and actually served to get him over). The decision to include the Benoit family in the book was a plus, I don’t understand why people seem intent on forgetting the Wolverines legacy, instead of forgetting his moment of madness. I guess including Benoit wouldn’t have been possible had it been a WWE book (they seem to be the chief proponents of the Benoit censorship campaign).

So, the big question is this: who better, Foley or Jericho? Well, I would suggest that people not familiar with the wrestling industry (people who can’t help but use the words “wrestling” and “fake” in the same sentence) read Mick’s first two books (which my friend Nige promised to read, if I remember correctly). However, if you know your fujiwara armbars from your figure four leg locks, then Jericho’s book should be your choice. In summary, best book goes to Foley, whilst best wrestling book goes to Jericho.

I want to be a minority!

A new product called U-Tag was brought to my attention recently, the premise is that it is a USB key that is worn as a dog tag and contains all of your emergency contact/medical information. It was designed for use by motorcyclists, or donors as they’re known in A&E (thanks Neil), but I thought that it would be a good alternative to my own stainless steel MedicAlert dog tag (worn to inform people of my serious allergy to certain medicines). I also thought that it would be a good idea for my Dad, who has had a heart attack and a stroke, and has a list of pills as long as the Nile (which would be very important for anyone treating him to have).

I visited the website and all looked good, until I discovered that they only support Windows users. [Insert joke about Windows users being most likely to crash here]. I emailed them to enquire about this completely uneccessary limitation:

I saw your product and thought it was a great idea. I currently wear a stainless steel dog tag which lists my allergies and other information, but currently would require someone to use the telephone number on it to contact Medic Alert to find out details of my medications etc. I also think it would be a good idea for my Dad, who has suffered a heart attack and stroke and has a long list of medication.

Why then do you only offer support for Windows users? I own a Mac, as do all of my friends. I also have access to a Linux machine, but no Windows boxes. I am a software engineer, and cannot see why you cannot display the data in html format, so that anyone can view it. You could easily have three different applications (one for each OS) for editing the data. Maybe I am missing something?

Their response:

Thank you for your question. The software is in Windows format because this is the most common operating system. It is extensively used throughout the emergency services and medical professions.

Yes, we could have gone straight to a HTML editor and produced a HTML file for all to read. After investigation, the security was not at a high enough level cross platform. Hence only going to windows. The software runs in windows directly from the USB device with no installation. We are currently recommending MAC users enter there details on a PC either a friends, a local library or internet cafe. The process is quick and intuitive.

I hope that answers your question, we are most defiantly not anti MAC far from it. All out design work was created using them. It was shear weight of numbers.

I decided that this was unacceptable, so I emailed them again:

Thank you for your response, it does explain things somewhat. However, I find it hard to believe that you can site security as the reason for not using HTML and then recommened entering personal medical information at an internet cafe or library. This is in addition to the fact that Windows (pick any version) is far from a secure operating system itself.

Anyway, thank you again for your response, maybe you can let me know when you become Mac friendly.

Regards,

Jo

P.S. Mac and not MAC, that mistake is guaranteed to upset any Apple fanboy, like me!

So I guess that makes me a discriminated against minority! Cool!

Update: One of the lead developers for this product took the time to email me personally, from a cramped bus in the Middle East, to inform me that they are in fact working on a Mac version of this product!

Matt never saw her coming… but all his friends had!

Foreword:
It’s kind of weird, finding out [via Facebook] what everyone (OK, not everyone as there are some people I’ve yet to add) has been up to since they left school/college/uni. Some people are getting married (congratulations Darren and Luke – they aren’t marrying each other, I just thought I should clear that up), some people are still at uni, some people are in different countries (like Ghana) and some people seem to have developed an unhealthy fixation on goats and the loss of testicles (WTF?). I don’t think I have changed at all.

Main Entry:
Any who, since I’m quickly regressing to infantile sixth former (not that much of a stretch), I just wanted to mention that I have a new entrant in my top ten films (the title of this post is the tag line of the film). It’s called the “The Girl Next Door” and the plot is your run of the mill school boy meets porn star, falls in love. Here are some of the ingredients that make this film so good:

  1. Killer soundtrack, featuring N.E.R.D (and David Gray, but lets overlook that).
  2. Hot chicks (including pole/lap dancing).
  3. Wrestler cameo (Luther Reigns).
  4. Happy ending.
  5. Rather dark humor.
  6. Safe sex message.
  7. Cool catchphrase “Dude, we’re a fucking tripod!

One step forwards, one step back!

You may already know about this, as it was covered on an article on the BBC news website, but the other day, scientists (I don’t know which ones) announced that they had developed ways of using robots to automate the testing of potentially hazardous chemicals (because you’re worth it). Traditionally, they inject “rodent models” with these chemicals and then watch them, to see if they get sick. The new method means that a much higher volume of tests (10000 a day, versus 100) can be conducted, at a fraction of the monetary cost and without consuming large numbers of animals. Plus, rodent testing “doesn’t always predict which chemicals will be harmful to humans”.

HOLD UP!
Did the scientists just admit that animal testing is pointless, because that’s what I heard. Breaking down what the scientist actually said (you might need to read the article):

  • The tests consume large numbers of animals and consuming large numbers of animals is bad;
  • The tests are expensive;
  • Tests don’t actually prove things one way or another.

Q: Clearly, anyone with half a kumquat for a brain can see that animal testing is wrong then?!?
A: Obviously not, because Clarins have been taken off the “animal friendly” list.

My Writes

What do you know about my rights?

I was raised with a strong moral compass. I was educated about the huge sacrifices made on my behalf to secure freedom, such as two World Wars and the ending of Divine Right. I take my rights very seriously, have no problem asserting them, but also appreciate the responsibility that comes with them. In this period of increased paranoia, I find it hard to accept that the best way to protect our freedoms, is to relinquish them. I find that I feel less and less at home in the United Kingdom. I find it incomprehensible that this country:

  • seeks to vilify young people and subject them to devices like the Mosquito;
  • feels it is OK to allow the Police to stop and search people without “due cause”;
  • has a government that is seeking to increase it’s power to to lock people up for prolonged periods of time, without charge.

This list is not exhaustive, *cough* cutting of net connections to pacify the BPI *cough*, but rather illustrative of my frustration and confusion. More and more of my time is spent contemplating the pull of the United States, which although far from perfect, still holds the freedoms of it’s citizens to be paramount. If I haven’t explained myself fully, then might I suggest you go and find the lyrics to the Limp Bizkit song “My Generation” (I did the hard work for you) it kinda sums it up quite nicely.

Living without freedom is not living!

P.S. I wonder how many people got to the end of the list and already had me pegged as a young, naeive, lefty twat? How ever many there are, I would like to thank you all, because you just made my point!

Aside: How can I possibly expect the government to take animal rights seriously, when they don’t even take human rights seriously?

[ROCK] me [HARD PLACE]

My Sister emailed me today with a question (well two actually). Normally, a question from my Sister means I’m about to get hammered – it doesn’t matter what the question is, or what answer I choose, I’m going to get hammered. However, on this occasion, the question(s) seemed innocent enough and firmly within my realm of expertise: “Is a 200MB Zip file a lot of data for a CD and have you fixed my iPod?”. Overjoyed (and impressed that she knew what a Zip file was), I replied stating that 200MB would easily fit onto a CD and that her iPod was fixed and waiting for her to collect.

Her response: “Good, I’ll email it to you, so you can put it on a CD for me”.

D’oh!

Keychain Madness

My Mac has recently been exhibiting a problem, whereby my keychain would need unlocking after I had logged in to my account, normally when I started Mail (which is the first thing I do when I start my Mac).

Long story short, your keychain password needs to be the same as your account password, if you want it to auto unlock, otherwise you will have to unlock it separately. You can change your keychain password by using Keychain Access, which you can find under Utilities in your Applications folder. Right click “login” from the keychains list and select “Change Password for keychain…”, I think you can manage from there.

Fuck The World!

…was a song by Tupac Shakur which characterised his “nothing to lose” mentality. It’s not something I can understand or appreciate, which ironically, is the thing that I am able to appreciate. I was listening to Rockstar, by Nickelback, on the way to work today. I know, it serves me right for listening to the radio and not plugging in my iPod, but hey, some of the lyrics in this song are spot on:

I want a brand new house
On an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
For ten plus me

(So what you need?)

I’ll need a credit card that’s got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet

(Been there, done that)

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and
James Dean is fine for me

(So how you gonna do it?)

I’m gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I’d even cut my hair and change my name

[Chorus:]
‘Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny ’cause we just won’t eat
And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free
(I’ll have the quesadilla, ha, ha)
I’m gonna dress my ass
With the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
Blow my money for me
(So how you gonna do it?)
I’m gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I’d even cut my hair and change my name

[Chorus]

And we’ll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today’s who’s who
They’ll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody’s got a drug dealer on speed dial, well

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I’m gonna sing those songs
That offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills from a pez dispenser

I’ll get washed-up singers writing all my songs
lip sync ‘em every night so I don’t get ‘em wrong

[Chorus]

And we’ll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today’s who’s who
They’ll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody’s got a drug dealer on speed dial

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I’m not going to cut my hair, or change my name and I’m never going to do drugs, but a house on cribs, fifteen cars and a key to the Playboy mansion – that is something to aim for. Reach for the stars, settle for the moon!

I just found out that “Fuck The World” was also the name of a song by Screeching Weasel. There are no words.